Big Blue Marble: Episode 2

  INT. APARTMENT. 1 (Arom is meditating and Qwag

  is attempting to make

  pancakes. Qwag looks at the

  box and at the pan. Then back

  at the box. He gets all the

  ingredients and just puts them

  all in the pan and attempts to

  cook them into a pancake.)

  AROM:

  "Alright, while I research this

  civilization’s socio-economic

  system by "working." Your mission,

  Qwag is to research and understand

  how these "humans" socialize. How

  they interact with other humans. I

  should be back in eight hours.

  (Arom grabs a burnt pancake

  and leaves the apartment.) QWAG:

  "Hmm... Human interaction... Where do humans interact? A police station or a restaurant? Hmm... Well, since I’m finished making these "pa-ann- cacks" I guess I could locate some other food and study how it’s made while studying human interactions, perfect."

  (Qwag bites a pancakes and spits it out.) QWAG:

  "Ew! Yuck! Pfff! How can the human’s eat this goop-glock."

  (He looks around wondering where to put the pancakes. He opens a cupboard, puts it in there and then leaves the apartment.)

  INT. PIZZA PLACE. 2 (Arom walks into the pizza

  place. The manager sees her

  and waves her to the back.)

  (The Manager quickly puts his

  Barbie dolls into a drawer and

  sits down.)

  MANAGER:

  "Arom? My name is Jeff I’m the manager here. This is a full time, forty hour a week job. No over time at all and it pays the minimum of nine dollars and forty seven cents. Fill out these forms. Here is your uniform. You get "one" shirt, "one" name tag, "one" hat and "one" pair of slacks. Shoes are what ever is comfortable but need to be black."

  (He hands Arom the uniform.) (Arom finishes with paper work.)

  MANAGER:

  "Okay, go into the bath room and put those clothes on and then I will show you where you will be working. Oh, and you didn’t see anything."

  (Arom walks towards the bathrooms but stops outside the doors. She looks at the signs on the doors and one is of a man and one a woman but Arom sees a figure with pants and another with a dress. She looks at the doors, then at the pants, then at the doors, then back at the pants.)

  EXT. COFFEE SHOP. 3 (Qwag looks at the coffee shop

  trying to understand what it

  is. He goes inside.)

  INT. COFFEE SHOP. 4 (Qwag watches and listens to

  people order different types

  of coffee. A large muscular

  man orders a coffee. After

  studying the man Qwag walks up

  to the counter.)

  BARISTA:

  "What can I get started for you?" QWAG:

  (Impersonating the muscular man.)

  "Um... Let me... Get a vanilla latte, hot."

  BARISTA: "Okay, what size?" QWAG: "Big." BARISTA:

  "Okay. You want the seventy-two ounce?

  QWAG: "Yep." BARISTA:

  Your total is four dollars and twenty cents."

  (Qwag pays for his coffee, gets it and sits down to where he can watch people interact.) (He watches as people read newspapers, do things on their computers, tablets and phones and even talk to other people. He notices that some people sit casual to others and others are more formal. He watches and thinks about how humans might know other humans or are just starting to

  interact with new humans they have just met.)

  (He takes a sip of the

  coffee.)

  (He feels a slight pain in his frontal lobe.)

  (He thinks nothing of it and continues to study people interacting.)

  INT. PIZZA PLACE. 5 (Arom is still having an issue

  with deciding which door to

  use to go to the restroom. She

  says to herself.)

  "Let’s see here. That one looks like dresses only and I have pants... so..."

  (She looks at the door signs and at her pants. Looks back at the doors and then her pants. Again and again until she decides to just go into the one with pants.)

  GROUP OF MEN:

  (Scream like girls.) "Ahhh!!!"

  (A group of men run out of the bathroom.)

  INT. COFFEE SHOP. 6 (Qwag is still studying people

  but his head pain is getting

  worse.)

  QWAG:

  "Ow..."

  (He squints his eyes and puts his hand in front of them as if the light is hurting his eyes.)

  QWAG:

  "Okay... I think I’m done here... Ow..."

  (Qwag gets up throws his coffee away and leaves the coffee shop.)

  EXT. STREETS. 7 (Qwag is stumbling as he walks

  down the sidewalk. He puts his

  hand up to shield his eyes

  from the sun light.)

  QWAG:

  "What the glok is happening? Am I sensitive to this planet’s star? Ugh..."

  (Qwag makes it back to the apartment. He stumbles to the kitchen and chugs tons of water. He pours it all over himself in the process.) (He stumbles across the apartment and falls onto the couch, asleep.)

  INT. PIZZA PLACE. 8 (Arom is making a pizza. She

  grabs the pepperoni and looks

  at it, studying it.)

  AROM:

  "Huh, this species still eats meat

  and grease, no wonder their

  extremely unhealthy."

  (She puts the pepperoni on the

  pizza and slides it into the

  oven.)

  AROM:

  "At least, they understand to

  "cook" their food."

  INT. APARTMENT. 9 (Qwag is sprawled out on the

  couch, asleep. He is making a

  weird snoring sound.)

  (Arom walks in.)

  AROM:

  "Wake up, lieutenant!"

  (Qwag is shocked awake. He jumps to his feet but doesn’t have the strength to stand. He fall back on to the couch coughing and holding his head.)

  (Arom, concerned, rushes over to Qwag.)

  AROM:

  "Lieutenant, what’s the matter? Where you attacked? Is this

  planet’s electromagnetism to strong for you?"

  QWAG:

  "Ugh... I... Don’t think... I... Don’t know... Ugh..."

  "C’mon, Lieutenant give me

  something."

  (Qwag falls over and goes back to sleep.) INT. APARTMENT. (Later that night. )10 (Qwag slowly opens his eyes.

  Arom is sitting in the chair

  across from him on her

  computer.)

  AROM:

  "Oh, good you’re awake. How are you feeling?"

  (Arom puts the computer away.) QWAG:

  "Uhhh... Better. Much better." AROM:

  "Good. What have you consumed today?"

  QWAG:

  "Huh? Oh, I had a liquid called coffee, why?"

  (Arom opens her computer and instantly understands coffee.) AROM:

  "Well, it seems that humans drink coffee for it’s "caffeine." This "caffeine" blocks the adenosine receptors in the human brain allowing humans to stay awake and more attentive."

  QWAG:

  "Ad-senso-tivaline?" AROM:

  "Adenosine. The human brain has caffeine receptors allowing for the consumption of coffee however, our species does not have those

  receptors, hence why you got sick." "Uh-huh..."

  (Qwag reclines.) AROM:

  "So, did you learn anything about human socialization?"

  QWAG:

  "Not much. Huma
ns are supposed to be social animals but when I was at the coffee shop I noticed that humans indeed are not social at all. They tend to be more intrigued by small primitive hand held

  computers then other humans. It’s really weird."

  AROM: "Interesting." QWAG:

  "What about you? What did you learn about socio-eggcornomics?"

  (Arom rolls her eyes annoyed that Qwag mispronounced economics.)

  AROM:

  "Well, I learned that humans

  dislike jobs but jobs are necessary to the way their society and

  economy operates."

  QWAG: "Okay." AROM:

  "I also learned about careers. Apparently, jobs are not meant to last for a human’s entire life. They are a sort of bridge to getting a career. A career is like a job but it has a higher degree of social and economic status."

  QWAG: "Okay." AROM:

  "To better understand human society I believe we need to find careers. What do you think?"

  (Arom looks at Qwag who is smelling his foot.)

  (Qwag looks up and slowly puts his foot down.)

  AROM: "Well?"

  QWAG:

  "Yes. Let’s do that." AROM:

  "Where you even listening?" QWAG: "Yeah, mhm."

  AROM: "What did I say?" QWAG:

  "You said, "that we should get careers to better understand human society."

  (Arom is surprised that Qwag was listening.)

  QWAG:

  "But how do we acquire careers?" AROM:

  "I’m not sure..."

  (They sit around and think for a while.)

  (Arom opens her computer.)

  AROM:

  "I found something. It’s called a personality test. It’s supposed to analyse one’s personality and present careers that match."

  QWAG:

  "Okay, let’s take this test." (Arom and Qwag take the test.) (Arom’s results are first.)

  AROM:

  "Apparently I’m an ISTJ I would make a good manager or accountant. Qwag what’s yours?"

  "Hold your ponkons. I’m still taking the test."

  (Qwag’s results come in.) QWAG:

  "ENFP... It says I would make a good comedian or actor... And I will be an ACTOR!"

  (Qwag stands up tall like a super hero.) AROM:

  "Umm... what is an actor or accountant?"

  (Qwag stops posing and sits back down, depressed.) (Arom searches through her computer.)

  AROM:

  "It seems that an actor is someone who can pretend to be someone else either on stage for a theatrical performance or in a film. An accountant is someone who is excellent with money and usually works for a large business.

  However, an accountant needs a certain level of education. I can attend an online college to attain such status however, your career path seems to a bit difficult. You should audition for plays at a theater."

  QWAG:

  "Then to the theater I shall go!" AROM:

  "Indeed. Qwag, you are to become an actor and I will attend an

  institution for higher learning."

  QWAG:

  "Aye, aye, el capitan!" 10.

  END OF EPISODE 2 11

 

 

  Holtslander, Tom, Big Blue Marble: Episode 2

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